020: GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

Good morning from Yeovil. South Somerset, where someone left a pile of Xbox 360 games in Marks & Spencers toilet:

Weird, huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought. S’like the worst Christmas present ever!

One of the game boxes looked like someone had stubbed cigarettes out on it - there were burn marks! - and another had dark, unpleasant-looking stains on its front cover. Might have been a ring where a dirty coffee cup had been placed on it or… something else. On the other side of the toilet-bowl lurks the disposal bin for Male Incontinence Products, so you never know. Dear Reader, I cropped the pic to spare you a view of that Hellish Box (along with the unpleasant and peculiarly-shaped stain that lurks at the bottom of the M&S loo).

So, anyway, we rocked up to the Paranormal Talk in Yeovil Library on November 28th (I posted a flier for it last time round). It was interesting and fun, but mostly covered the topic of How To Recognise a Poltergeist. TBH, I was more interested in the apparition of a woman that supposedly haunts the top floor of the library, a subject that was teased briefly at the beginning of the talk, but sadly never returned to or expanded on. There was a lot of pseudoscience wrapped up in a thin veneer of scientific investigation, but that’s par for the course with these things. Anyway, one of the - I think it was 17? - ways of identifying / classifying poltergeists was, apparently, the phenomenon of Piling. Poltergeists sometimes build small piles or stacks of related objects when no one is watching. (This is something that ADHDers are also prone to, and I’m now seeing a very interesting but bizarre Venn Diagram appear in my head). So, according to the system of poltergeist classification laid out by paranormal investigator, Caroline McKendrick-Gibson, that pile of Xbox 360 games in the M&S bog could well be the work of a mischievous Earthbound spirit.

Freaky stuff, eh? Actually, I find the idea of some inexplicable otherworldly force stacking up nicotine-damaged copies of Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, Ancients of Ooga and Jeopardy!: America’s Favourite Quiz Show quite chilling and weird in a way that Tobe Hooper’s 1982 film, Poltergeist, isn’t. Now that I think about it there was a strange aura in that stall - not to mention aroma - that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Nor wanted to, if I’m to be honest.

A few days later I was collared on the stairs going up to the 1st Floor by Mikey the Librarian, who told me that he had recently been on a Yeovil Ghost Walk. I had no idea there was such a thing. But there is. “The Yeovil Ghost Walk invites you to step into the town’s shadowy history, uncovering eerie tales and mysterious events that have left their mark. As night falls, stories of strange happenings and forgotten figures come to life, offering a glimpse into Yeovil’s more unsettling side.” Well, I went out for a drink or three with my wife earlier - our Domestic Works Do - and we certainly saw more than just a glimpse of Yeovil’s more unsettling side…

Mikey said that on the walk they were given dowsing rods and the Necrophonic app (“a new spirit communication app that’s really caught the attention of those in the paranormal investigation scene!”), then night-prowled around various local landmarks in the centre of town, including the old church in Peter Street (where I once saw Yeovil Prog band, Warlock, play in the 70s) and around Maltravers House, seen here in its full B&W Brutalist heyday:

There was talk that perhaps some firefighters had been killed locally during a World War 2 bombing raid and now haunted the area round the back of the old, now boarded-up Denners department store - the loading-bay adjacent to the rear of the library. This kinda dovetails into an old story that my Mum or sister (I forget which) once told me many years ago: that a group of soldiers home on leave had been killed along with their sweethearts when a bomb fell on or near the old Town Hall. This is a story I’d never been able to verify - and may just be apocryphal or misremembered (though both Mum and my sister lived in Yeovil during the war). I briefly wondered if this or a similar incident had taken the life of one or more firefighters. I snooped around and found this plaque up on an old wall abutting the library car-park:

As for the mysterious White Lady of the Library… well, Yeo.Lib is relatively new (I think the building work was finished somewhen around 1988). I remember the old library from the 70s and the Children’s Library which was basically a wooden hut out in the car-park. It was built on a plot of land adjoined to where the spectral firefighter supposedly roams. Might the woman who walks the top floor of the library also be a victim of the same tragedy?

Who knows? It’s all hearsay, speculation: stories that us Yeovil Weirdos whisper to one another to elevate our locality out of the humdrum and into the realm of the mythic. Oft-repeated tales that then gain a spectral life of their own, become enshrined in local folklore. Perhaps you have similar lore in yr own home town.

When the world grows dull or dim or spins out of control, we create monsters that we can tame to take the place of those we can’t. Beasts we can slay, ghosts we can lay to rest over a beer or while staring into crackling fire-light. It’s the stories we tell - the events, real or imagined, that we summon down with words - that live on in our wake and ripple outwards to touch, terrify or transform the lives of others. The Dead don’t die, they migrate out into our collective memory. Become the stuff of Story.

Okay, one final spooky aside. I was strangely pleased to see that The Ghastly Screaming Face of Torment has reappeared above the hand-gel dispenser in the toilets of Coffee #1, Yeovil (where I am currently Writer In Residence after the Ukrainian cafe sadly closed almost exactly a year ago). Sorry if this intro has had a more, um, scatological bent than usual, but unearthly powers reside where unearthly powers reside. I don’t make the rules. And, to be honest, I’m not sorry, either.

I was worried a barista -exorcist (baristacist?) had been called in by the Coffee Vatican to put this troubled soul to rest. I missed the poor thing! My day is incomplete without a large black americano, a bag of crisps and a glimpse of The Ghastly Screaming Face of Torment.

Okay. I’m trying to squeeze out this one last newsletter before Christmas. I’ve no idea if I’ll make it or how long / short the darn thing’ll be, but I’m gonna give it my best shot. If this one seems sillier / more sentimental than usual, well, that’s probably why.

Speaking of which, before I forget, apparently there was some confusion as to whether William Shatner was spotted a few days ago in the Yeovil Wetherspoons pub. Turns out he likes real ale and Somerset. So not as bizarre as it seems. Anyway, I’m thinking of starting a petition to rename the pub from The William Dampier to The William Shatner. Or, even better, Shatner’s Bassoon. (Who some of you might be aware are also a pretty good improv band).

Whether you celebrate Christmas or some other festival-holiday (religious or otherwise), I’d like to wish you all a happy, chilled and fruitful break. If yr stuck working because yr job in health-care, retail or hospitality demands it then I hope you are able to grab some enjoyable, well-earned downtime at some point. And if for any reason this time of year is one that you find difficult to deal with or even depressing, then I hope you are, at least, able to find some moments of peace and quiet respite in among all the bustle and noise.

Look after yrselves and those around you.

Yr pal, Kek

I very much dig this image that JM sent me earlier today. From an old issue of Look & Learn, apparently, that he found stashed in his storage unit.

Hello. I’m Kek. I write stuff. And I also make stuff.

Wow. Shortest intro yet! Hi-Ho, let’s go!

SLATE UPDATE

MEET THE SHRIVELWOODS is a 40-ish page chapbook written by Yrs Truly containing two darkly humorous Gothic Romance tales which I describe in the introduction as: “Poe on nitrous oxide meets Dark Shadows, The Addams Family, Wuthering Heights, Gormenghast and Sir Henry At Rawlingson End.” It’s a gas! The perfect gift for The Significant Other or Goth in your life. Or anyone who likes a giggle or digs old Gothic bodice-ripper novels.

It’s beautifully / professionally printed by Rich at Comic Printing UK.

You can score a copy of it here on the Kekw Bandcamp:

But if you regularly read this newsletter, then drop me an email and I’ll do ya a copy for 4 quid plus postage ‘cos I then don’t need to compensate for Bandcamp’s slice. And thanks, as ever, for reading.

The 2000AD 100-page Festive Mega-Special hit the shops earlier this week and contains a YOUNG DEATH story - yes, that’s young Judge Death! - by myself, artist Clint Langley and letterer Annie Parkhouse. It’s called “Dog Eat Dog” and features the return of the most unexpected character of all! It might be Christmas, but this tale ain’t for the squeamish (though it’s shot through with gallows-black humour). Want to know how a precocious (and psychotic) young Judge Sidney De’Ath rose through the ranks to become the nefarious Judge Death? I started charting his early days in Fall of Deadworld, but his back-story continues in greater depth here. There’s going to be a couple more YD episodes first thing in the New Year and I’ve been asked to write some more. Enjoy.

Oh, and it looks like I’m a guest at the LAWLESS COMIC CONVENTION in Bristol in 2026.

Also in shops now is the end-of-year round-up issue of The Wire music magazine, which features an article by me on Chicago-based musician-artist, Marie McAuliffe aka Hypomanic Daydream , a current favourite of mine who I’ve mentioned in this newsletter a handful of times this year. Marie mashes up Death Metal, Doom Metal, Emo, Pop and Chiptune influences to create a euphorically unique hybrid form of contemporary Metal. Her new album (as Hype-O), Forever Longing, drops first thing in the New Year and it’s bloody wonderful. It has more of a synth-infused Industrial / Dance vibe, but is shot through with Metallic gnarl and social / romantic longing. I’ve been playing it to death in recent weeks

The Wire also asked me to do a list of my favourite albums of the year, along with my Pros and Cons for ‘25, but don’t think they ever ran it. So, I’ll print it here - because, why not? - but in the next section. So keep reading, O Fervid One…

In the last few days my email inbox has been aglow with gorgeous new artwork from David Roach, Dave Kendall and Rob Richardson - all for incoming comic-book projects. I’m forever grateful for the amazing collaborators that I get to work with these days. I’m as much of a fan of these guys’ work as you are.

My outbox has probably been as busy as the inbound one. In the last week or so, I’ve sent off the first part of a brand new CAP’N DINOSAUR strip to artist Shaky Kane and editor Dave Elliott. This isn’t an image from it, but you’ll see this strip soon if you got onboard the A1Deadline kickstarter…

I also got the script for episode #8 of the new Nightmare New York series signed off, wrote / sent off pitch / character notes (and the first page of a tentative script) for a thing I’m hoping to do with Brazilian illustrator / colourist, Felipe Sobreiro. Oh, and I finished writing a 4000+ word retro-Horror story.

Okay. Now I think I need a little lie-down. Zzzz.

KID SHIRT’S CRATE DIGS

Unpublished Wire chart. I removed the Cons section at the end as it was mostly political in nature and I’ve tried (and will continue to try) to keep this newsletter politics-free. It don’t mean that I don’t have (often very vocal) views about the state of the world, but I want this place to feel like a safe, calm haven. Somewhere ppl can visit and hopefully leave in a better (if more befuddled) mood. Next time round this section’ll be back to noise gig reviews and covering super-obscuro releases. Oh, and maybe even an artist interview or two. Yes, I know, eoy listicles are crap and subjective, but here are some artists / releases from the niche side of town who you might not have encountered before and who deserve a little of yr time. Go check ‘em!

NEW RELEASES

Hypomanic Daydream: "Maladaptive" (HypoManic Daydream Bandcamp)

Hypomanic Daydream: "The Yearning" (HypoManic Daydream Bandcamp)

Gonemage: "Coldest Keep In Bitter Heavens" (Gonemage Bandcamp)

Cyrus Pireh: "Thank You, Guitar" (Palilalia Records)

Organza Ray: "Kessire Effect" (Organza Ray Bandcamp)

Carnivorous Plants: "Dread Country" (Liquid Library)

ICP Orchestra: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY -> NAAR ZEE Z.O.Z." (ICP Orchestra Bandcamp)

Minced Oath: "Glares" (Fort Evil Fruit)

E Ruscha V: "Music to Watch Seeds Grow By 004: E Ruscha V (Cosmos)" (Secret Circuit)

RE-ISSUES

Patrick Cowley: "From Behind" (Dark Entries Records)

Angel Snake / Monopoly Child Star Searchers: "Snakinist Sand Forms / No Jaw Rites" (Pacific City Sound Visions)

Pros:

Hypomanic Daydream's commingle-mangling of Death Metal, Prog and RPG synths. The Metal-Chiptune collisions of Gary Brents aka Gonemage, Sallow Moth and a zillion other persona-projects.

Prior's woozy, otherworldly Noisegaze set at the Thunderbolt, Bristol. Yol at the Cube Cinema. Mutilated Judge's butt-naked, drum machine-propelled 600mph Grindnoise assault on the audience at The Golden Lion was one of the most unpredictably exhilarating and terrifying shows I've ever been knocked flat on my arse at.

Fort Evil Fruit, Cardboard Club. Organza Ray. Sharp Noodle shows. Goodbye, Liquid Library. The constantly self-renewing, hermetic art-sound worlds of Jan Anderzén and Spencer Clark.

CHILL WITH KIKI

Merry Xmas, ya glorious weirdos - from The Kiki! xx